


Seems my heart is making a great mess

by champagnestars



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Friendship, Light Angst, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-13
Updated: 2018-01-13
Packaged: 2019-03-04 03:34:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13355649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/champagnestars/pseuds/champagnestars
Summary: Caspar's begun to lose the plot a bit.





	Seems my heart is making a great mess

**Author's Note:**

> I've become absolutely enchanted by the relationship between Joe Sugg and Caspar Lee. Whether they are just best friends or are actually in a romantic relationship. I adore their dynamic and I love how softly Joe looks at Caspar no matter what he's doing or saying. This is just a tiny thing.

His waist is so small he thinks. He can wrap his arms around them and they would double over each other.

He’s started to lose track of what he wants from Joe. He has this…perpetual confusion now that doesn’t make sense, and it shouldn’t because it’s simple isn’t it? Their partners, buddies…best friends. But…his waist is so small and he can’t rid himself of the feeling that his rib cage is caving in when they simply fucking touch.Like now, in the back of the van and their knees are pressed against each other.You would swear there isn’t enough space in the back of the fucking van, (there is). Joe’s nodded off with his head lightly bouncing against the window as the car moves and he mumbles something that is followed by a small smile and Caspar feels his heart constrict, so he turns away and looks out the window at the rolling green of the place where he grew up. He’s not sure when his heart began to lose the plot of what Joe and him are supposed to be, what was determined from the beginning, best friends.When they clicked so immediately, almost frighteningly, that Caspar found it almost remarkable that he’d found someone that he never had to filter his personality around because, sometimes he could be a bit loud, a bit talkative, a bit annoying, a bit fidgety, but here was someone, for the first time, who’s face never truly twisted into annoyance at Caspar’s quirks, but more often than not, just smiled. Fucking smiled when Caspar was raiding through his snack cabinet, smiled when Caspar was always fucking tripping, knocking down things, breaking things, touching things he wasn’t supposed to and just being an absolute ditz.And it’s remarkable to him because, all his childhood he felt as if everyone, besides his mum, his wonderful mum, had always been telling him, “too much Caspar, you’re personality, the volume of your voice, your ticks, your energy, your enthusiasm, a bit too much.”

But Joe laughs, and never at him, but encouragingly,as if to convey to Caspar his appreciation for who he is and that thought, that fucking acceptance, has always made Caspar smile, but now, with their knees pressed together, the thought of all that Joe is and how he is, to everyone else and especially to Caspar seems gargantuan and makes his heart constrict. He remembers the last time he felt like this, this uneasiness, when he was in high school, unsure of where he would end up, as the weird annoying kid that everyone seemed to want to shut down. But he thinks (mostly just to console his erratic heart) that just like then, the uneasiness would work itself out. He looks back at Joe, who’s mouth is now wide open and waist still impeccably tiny, and thinks, as he leans over and closes Joe’s mouth, that although his chest, and his heart and his ribs and his thoughts are fucking him over, he is sure of one thing as Joe lets out a soft snore , he is glad that Joe is here with him, in the backseat of this jeep, in the muggy South African heat. Joe who smiles and makes Caspar feel not so out of place. He’s glad to be just around him. And for now, Caspar thinks, that’s enough.


End file.
